Los Angeles, Feb 9 : Actress Lily Collins is plunged into anxiety by memories of an abusive ex who branded her a "w***e." The 'Emily in Paris' actress, who is now in a healthy relationship with husband Charlie McDowell, revealed that she still gets "triggered" about her previous toxic romance, reports aceshowbiz.com. During her appearance on the February 8 episode of the 'We Can Do Hard Things' podcast, Lily talked about her ex. "He would call me 'Little Lily'... and he'd use awful words about me in terms of what I was wearing and would call me a w***e and all these things," she recalled. Adding about how his behaviour sparked feelings of "panic" and "anxiety," Lily said, "There were awful words and then there were belittling words. I became quite silent and comfortable in silence and feeling like I had to make myself small to feel super safe. The situations are completely different 10 years ago to now. That panic is what I can still get triggered by." She added, "Even if I'm in the most healthy relationship, there can be a moment that happens throughout the day where history comes back like that. It's like a millisecond, or shorter than a millisecond, and your gut reacts, your heart starts beating, and all of a sudden you're taken back to that moment where they said that thing to you 10 years ago, but you're not in that situation now and that's the trigger and it's f**king hard. It's awful." Lily, who did not share the identity of her toxic ex, has previously been romantically linked to famous faces including Taylor Lautner, Zac Efron, Chris Evans and Nick Jonas, but there is no suggestion she was talking about any of them. She got married to Charlie McDowell in September 2021 after almost a year after they got engaged. Film director Charlie McDowell is the son of actors Malcolm McDowell and Mary Steenburgen, and his stepfather is 'Cheers' star Ted Danson, while Lily is the daughter of musician Phil Collins and Jill Tavelman. /IANS