Mumbai, Sep 28 : Former actress Somy Ali, who has never shied away from speaking her mind and about her past relationship with Bollywood superstar Salman Khan, says she saw many shades during her time in India, be it in intimate relationships, professional and even with friendships. However, she added that her worst nightmare was her relationship which she is stillsuffering from as she is still being bullied even though she broke off the relationship 22 years ago. Somy said: 'I grew up in an extremely beautiful house in Karachi, Pakistan, and as beautiful as it was aesthetically from the outside, the more horrific incidents took place inside the 28 bedroom mansion. I was used to chaos and it still follows me, but now I thrive in chaotic situations and by this I mean I am able to run my NGO hands on as I deal with traffickers and abusers fearlessly." 'My father started out as director of photography then went on to producing and directing several films in Pakistan. My dad's film studio was on the ground floor of our home and we resided on the third floor,' she added. The former actress said that she practically grew on her dad's film sets and watched him direct countless newcomers. 'This is why my parents fought as my mom was a rebellious woman, not a typical docile Muslim woman. Hence, there were many fights and domestic violence between my parents due to my dad's affairs with his heroines,' she said. Revealing some more details, she added: 'While my mom was being abused for speaking for herself, I was being sexually abused by the cook in the house when I was five years old and then later again by the gatekeeper at the age of nine. I barely could focus in school and would always stare out the window unbeknownst to me that I was suffering from severe PTSD and ongoing trauma.' Somy said she doesn'thave any good memories of childhood unfortunately aside from being extremely fond of netball, swimming and playing cricket. But after she developed a tumour in her left leg and had to be operated on she couldn't continue with that. 'This occurred when I was nine right after the sexual abuse incident. Henceforth, I was sent off to the US for surgery with my mother as my uncle resided in Miami at the time and was studying to be an engineer.' Then came a time when Somy decided to come to India. And, her experience was more bad and less good, if she would 'put it mildly'. She said: 'I went there to pursue a crush which as a reporter I am sure you know and that decision at 16 to move to another country after being infatuated by a character I watched in a movie was the death of me.' 'It still haunts me because the character was the complete opposite in real life. What has been bothersome to me, my entire life is complete unpredictability no matter which country I am living in or who I am living with. Cryptically speaking about her 'relationship', Somy said: 'No one is purely good or bad and there is no such thing as black and white when it comes to humans because all have several shades and we display those shades with whomever we feel deserves that specific colour." 'I saw many shades during my time in India, be it in intimate relationships, professional and even with my friendships. But my worst nightmare was my relationship which I am still suffering from as I am still being bullied even though I broke off the relationship 22 years ago.' /IANS